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Writer's pictureclaire pearce

Early Flight

Dear Lucy,


I’ve always wanted to need to catch an early flight, to have something important enough to need to leave first thing in the morning for. I’ve been on early flights before, but I haven’t ‘had to’ be on them.


People in films and on the TV are always catching early flights. Never late-morning or mid-afternoon ones, only early morning ones. These people are always successful, ambitious and generally good looking. The less attractive ones get to stay behind (and save the planet by the way, by not taking flights at all).


Successful people always get up early. Planning their goals for the day, doing power yoga whilst chairing a video conference, preparing superfoods in a Bullet, providing endless activities for people that like to tell us about the ‘top ten things successful people do’.


And all this no doubt, wearing stylish lounge wear, and all of course, before breakfast.

Knowing that getting up early is key to being successful kind of makes me feel better though. I’ve always been pre-disposed to an average of 9 hours sleep a night, so even if I wanted to be successful, my body simply wouldn’t allow it.


So the question is - can an unsuccessful person ever have the need to take an early flight?


I’m not taking any chances, so instead I’m going to pretend I have some ‘early’ things I have to do. A Thai Chi class, a meeting with my bank manager (can you have those if you’re with a building society?), a Lacrosse lesson. And yes, even an early flight.


And then perhaps people will be impressed with me and think, “Ooh, isn’t she successful and ambitious, she has ‘early’ things to get to!” I expect they’ll start treating me differently, eager to hold open doors, to get me a coffee, or to join my conversation over someone who just does normal things at normal times. I suspect I would also appear to be better looking too.


And then what?


The reality is that whether or not I have early things to do, I’ll just keep hitting my snooze button. So then I’ll be a liar who doesn’t have to get an early flight. Worse still, a lazy liar who doesn’t have to get an early flight. But at least I’ll be a bit more windswept and interesting, which after all, is much more important than being successful. Maybe I’ll do a top ten list.

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